Automated Vacation Message

Darlings, Pretty Lady is sorry she cannot respond to your lovely letters this week. She is lolling in the sun in the great state of Texas, surrounded by glorious extended family, all of whom are completely well-adjusted except, regrettably, her aunt's stick-in-the-mud husband, who refuses to speak to any of us, but sits on the back porch with the Dachsund, growling when anyone comes near (the husband, not the Dachsund) and turning up his nose at all refreshment except a spoonful of mashed potatoes and two Brussels sprouts. This has been going on for twenty years; it has officially been decided that next year, we buy him a Whataburger and let him eat on the back porch with the Dachsund. All of us will be happier.

Not that much increase of happiness is, indeed, possible. Pretty Lady hopes that all of her lovely friends are having as splendid a time as she.