The complexities of virtue

Scooterhawk presses a button:

PL, the problem is not with men, but with you. I find it strange that a woman who, by her own admission, engaged in casual relationships now expects a man to earn what she once so freely gave away. Why should he? What makes you worth the effort when so many others are willing to give him what he wants for a drink and a smile?

This is the seminal problem I have with modern feminist. You demand that men respect something that you readily discard. If you want a man to leap tall buildings, swim oceans, climb mountains and slay dragons for the honor of beholding your virtue then I suggest you actually be virtuous first. Otherwise you’re just selling a cheap knockoff in a buyer’s market.

Scooterhawk, my dear, if I did not know what a lovely person you are, I might conceiveably be offended by this statement. But since I know you meant well, I will address your question in the spirit of exasperated concern in which I am almost sure it was intended.

Firstly, my dear, Scooter, although Pretty Lady may not speak for others, she herself has never engaged in 'casual relationships.' She has engaged in Failed Relationships, Tragic Mistakes, Learning Experiences, Passionate, Doomed Affairs, and Things Bordering upon the Modern Definition of 'Date Rape,' which she has never whined about and was certainly not permanently scarred by, but were definitely not premeditated or fully consensual acts of 'giving something away.'

Pretty Lady has a very good heart, and all of these mistakes were made in the best of faith, according to the shifting, ambiguous, and conflicting social standards in which she was immersed. It is a terrible thing to send a young girl into the world, uninformed about the basic propensities, methodologies and expectations of the men she encounters; Pretty Lady at the start was utterly unequipped to deal with them, and was forced to learn by trial and error.

Second, darling Scooter, if you are defining a 'relationship' by the mere act of sexual intercourse, of course a man has no earthly reason to court Pretty Lady, or any other female. Sexual intercourse, or at least a blow job, may be had at the corner of 14th and 4th avenues for fifty dollars, and it has always been this way. If you have to ask what makes Pretty Lady 'worth the effort,' you have either not been paying attention or you are an irremediable Lump.

There are, perhaps, many men who are in the market for a wife who is a clueless, blushing virgin with no experience in interpersonal relationships. It may surprise them to know that Pretty Lady has even less interest in these men than they have in her. The type of fellow who floats Pretty Lady's boat is someone who appreciates the sort of wisdom, insight and compassion which are only to be gained by courageously entering the world, trying things, falling down, laughing about it, and getting up again, a Sadder but Wiser Girl.

Thirdly, my most excellent Scooter, the viewpoint of Modern Feminism is that a woman's virtue is defined by infinitely more than an intact hymen. We are demanding that men respect, not merely a fragile piece of tissue nestled in our nether reasons, but our minds, our hearts, our souls, and every bit of our bodies, in whatever condition they may happen to be.

Now, any decent man respects these things anyway, and I am sure, Scooter, that you are a decent man. However the facts must be faced that a large, large number of men through the ages have been anything but decent, and to define a woman's value as dependent upon her treatment by these radically indecent fellows is simply unacceptable.

A man, Scooter, has always been able to make mistakes, to fail dramatically in his endeavors, and still be perceived by the world at large as a worthy man. A woman has rarely had that luxury. To achieve the wisdom of maturity, such failures are necessary. Pretty Lady believes that the excesses of modern feminism are simply the dramatic failures of persons struggling earnestly toward a chance at maturity.

Lastly, it appears to me that you have dared to suggest that Pretty Lady is not a virtuous woman. I refer you to the large number of friends and relatives who will attest that Pretty Lady is renowned far and wide for her kindness, her compassion, her nurturance, her patience, her understanding, her inner strength, her courage, her wit, her sense of humor, her discipline, and her sincerity in loving and seeking to know God. Also her homemade oatmeal cookies, marinara puttanesca, and spicy mung beans with ginger. And her skills at parallel parking a standard transmission automobile, backwards, on a hill.

Pretty Lady knows some women who were virgins at marriage; her large acquaintance even stretches to these. She knows, sadly, that some of these women are rigid, controlling, impatient, unloving, non-compassionate, bitter persons who make their husbands' lives a living hell. Pretty Lady loves these women anyway, because she knows that they are suffering for what they believe is a Good Cause, and that they are doing the best they can.

But Pretty Lady also believes that if a man could make a truly informed choice, he'd choose her. If she'd have him.